2009 Young people ask parents: spend more time with us
Published by
Contrary to the widespread myth that teenagers hate their parents - young people want more time with their caregivers.
The country's biggest survey of young people Youth 2007 surveyed 10,000 secondary school students. About 45% of those interviewed reported that they didn't get enough time with their parents.
"This is big stuff. Much bigger than it sounds," says principal researcher Dr Simon Denny. "Having a close relationship with a parent is one of the most important predictors of good health and wellbeing for young people. We know that the relationship with a primary caregiver is a massive resilience factor - meaning that it helps inhibit or prevent lots of the negative stuff that can happen for young people."
A quality relationship with primary caregivers can help to reduce suicidality, mental health problems, drug and alcohol abuse, and criminal activity, he says.
"These are complex problems, so they aren't solely caused or prevented by the parental bond. But it certainly helps," he adds.
More positively 90 % of the students thought that their parent(s) cared about them a lot.
The reasons that young people gave for not getting enough time with their parents were that their parents were busy with work. Mothers were often also busy with housework or caring for other children, whilst fathers were with simply ‘out' or not living with them.
The study illustrated the diversity of family structures that young people live in - with grandparents, step-parents, other relatives and other adults being amongst the range of adults that students identified as their caregivers.
New Zealand Aotearoa Adolescent Health and Development (NZAAHD) director Sarah Helm said it was important for young people's voice to be heard.
"This study is the voice of young people in New Zealand today. And those young people are saying to adults: give us more time," she says.
We hope the public will listen to this plea, rearrange their commitments, and talk with their older children about how they can spend more time together, she says.
What does making time mean?
How do you ask your teenager to spend more time with you?
What would you do together?
How do you make time?
...why not ask your son/daughter for their ideas?
